Death of Death Note

I thought I would never do it, but I am almost finished watching Death Note. Yes, it's an anime. Yes, it's ridiculous. Yes, it kicks ass. This show really has nothing that would appeal to me in its separate parts, but throw them all together and it's compelling as hell. Basically, some Japanese kid gets the ability to kill people by writing their name in a notebook. There are 37 episodes in total, and I'm up to 33 or 34. To tell you the truth, there's really not much to say about it. It's compelling and enjoyable, but if I didn't make a solemn promise to update this blog a few times each week, I probably wouldn't even bother writing about it. Oh well; enjoy the picture.

Pulling Out!

I recently finished watching the second season of the BBC (I think it's from the BBC; anyway, it's British) comedy, "Pulling." I don't think it's on in the states, though it may be on BBC America. It's a pretty simple concept, really: a woman gets "cold feet" and leaves her husband, pretty much at the altar, and the two of them try to adjust to this drastic event.
To look at it objectively, it's the same basic premise as Friends or Sex in the City, at least I assume it is. I've never actually seen an entire episode of either of those two shows, but what I have seen sucks ass. Pulling not only doesn't suck ass, it actually kicks it! It is one of the rawest shows on (or not on) TV, and the fact that it's primarily comprised of females makes it even more surprising. Nothing against the ladies, you know I love them, but they don't usually make me laugh. And that's no reason to stop trying, sweethearts. Anyway, the situations and interactions these three psycopaths (four, if you count Carl, the lead character's ex-fiance) are continually hysterical. Definitely worth checking out if you're a fan of the Office, Peep Show, or Ideal.

Futurama Returns Returns!

Last week, the second full-length Futurama DVD movie came out. Being a huge fan of Futurama (much moreso than the Simpsons for the past several years), I naturally snatched it up. It seems like most people either love or hate Futurama, or love it but want to pretend they hate it. I know quite a few people like that. Well, like I said, I really enjoy the show, and eagerly awaited this film.
When Futurama returned from the grave with their first full-length a few seasons ago, it felt like a dream come true. That may be the single nerdiest thing I've ever said in my life, or it may be lightyears from the nerdiest thing I've ever said. I'd bet on the latter of the two. Anyway, it really got me psyched up, and it didn't let down. That first one, Bender's Big Score, started off on the slow side, but really picked up. By the end of the movie, my mind was blown.
Now, this movie wasn't as good as the previous one, but it still wasn't bad. Not enough Zoidberg for my tastes, but he still had some choice lines to parlay. That thing rocks!

Technological Ice-Age Thawed

I recently leaped into the 1990s and purchased an X-Box 360. I haven't really been playing many video games for the past ten years or so, though I did purchase a used PS2 a few years back. Though I rarely played it, the incentive behind the purchase was clear: Grand Theft Auto III. Something about that game appealed to a primal instinct of sorts deep within me. I never got too far in it, but I enjoyed driving around killing people. Even that, sadly, got old after awhile.
Why, then, did I purchase an Xbox 360? Well, to tell you the truth, it was to network video files to my new television. But, being able to play video games is a real plus. The new Grand Theft Auto is so immense, however, that it's basically impossible for a novice like me to accomplish anything. If you care to fight me online, send me an Xbox message. I don't really know how to work it too well, though, so it may take me awhile to reply.

Fuck Joseph Conrad

Last weekend, I read "Heart of Darkness." Yeah, that's right, I put it in quotation marks because I categorize that as a short story, not a novel. In fact, I categorize it as a fucking piece of shit short story, lumped upon a pile of turdlings with some poo-cream whipped up on the top of it. That book fucking sucked.
It started out decent enough, with a dude named Marlow telling a story about his life. I mean, for the most part, his life was boring as shit, actually. If I lived a life as boring as his, I certainly wouldn't write a book about it. Technically, within the book, Marlow was telling his story to a group of captive audience members, but still. I wouldn't do that, either.
The only thing this dude did was sat on a boat, got shot at by natives, and talked to some asshole named Kurtz. And boy oh boy, let me tell you about Kurtz. Everybody throughout the book was like, "Ohhh, Kurtz is soooo fucking wonderful!" They basically kissed his ass nonstop, even going so far as to spread his wonderfulness when he wasn't even around. After all the buildup, I have to admit even I got wrapped up in the whole Kurtz phenom. I couldn't wait to meet the guy!
Then, when we finally get to see him, BAM! The dude is a total fucking loser. A real douche. The kind of dick that says he "doesn't want any of your nachos" when you're standing at the counter, but once you hit the table, he's all over them. Fuck Kurtz. And yeah, yeah, I guess I "get it." Kurtz is supposed to be a piece of shit, right? Maybe I'm reading too much into it. On the plus side, I finished it in just under two days. Which, I believe, is twice as long at that dirty bastard took to write it.

Time for a New Post

It's time for a new post. Here it is! Hope you enjoy it. Lots of people, who were given advance editions of this post, have replied very favorably to favorable-review seeking queries. It was great! they all bellowed. Some even threw roses at the feet of passersby, in the hopes of luring them into a cavern of sin.
Despite the fact that no clear thread, no glimpse of a symbolic theme of any kind, was noticed throughout the posting, it was agreed upon by all that this posting was indeed the pinnacle of its type.
All those in favor? Support your local dignitaries.
Once again, no picture. The protest continues...

All This Bullshit

When you really think about it, all this bullshit is pretty fucked up. Some people try to tip-toe around the bullshit, but I feel it really needs to be thrown out there into the open. Why hide behind a slice of humble turd, when you can fling that fucker to the ground and kick it on someone else?
Bullshit might be a fact of life for some people, but I, myself, have never stood for it. Sure, everyone has to put up with it. Even me! But the thing is, I never stood for it! Yeah, that's right! I look bullshit right in the eye, and say, "Fuck off, BS! And by the way, I'm calling you 'BS' to save time; not because there's any sort of affection between us in any way whatsoever at all period."
If you feel like putting up with bullshit for the rest of your life, join the club. But I'll tell you this: the club ain't cheap, but it sure does look it. If, on the other hand, you're interested in kicking it raw, keeping it real, and just downright fucking country dickin' up in 'em, then do something else. It's all pretty much the same.
PS - No picture was available at press time.